The parade was an amazing splash of colour and homo-energy however I miss the artistry of the costumiers of past such as Ron Muncaster, Pip Playford and  Brenton Heath-Kerr. They delivered engineering marvels that made you wonder how they managed to manoeuvre the elaborate costumes all the way to the after party.  These creations often took a year in planning, months of work and hundreds of dollars in materials and were usually self funded out of the artist’s love of creating a show stopper.

To me, the current Parade is less about entries from individual artists and more about the group spectacle. On mass matching outfits and lots of flesh are the current show stoppers. The likes of Ethel Yarwood Enterprises and the team from the Mardi Gras Workshop sure foster a generation of new artists full of creativity – they take the ordinary and make it dazzling.

Pulling together an entry is a costly exercise. It’s not like 15 years ago where you could grab a truck and stick a bunch of near naked horny poofs and lessos on the back and enjoy your night. There is now insurance, equipment hire and driver fees to consider before you even think about how many hot bodies you can cover with 1 metre of pink sequence material.

This is where the increasing number of corporate floats pays off. They have the cash to splash as part of their marketing budget. The ANZ disco ball team was brilliant and I so wanted to board the Virgin bus for a touch of one-on-one in-flight safety instruction.

The glitter has washed from the parade route.  I have recovered from my crazy jog up Oxford street carrying camera equipment... yes, the tragedy of trying to be in two placed at once meant the guidetogay.com team had to chase the parade to head off the lead float! We were just having too much fun in the party atmosphere of the maze-like marshalling area.

Now I have had time to ask that all important questions:

“What am I going to wear to the Mardi Gras Party?”

There has been much debate about the separation of parade and party, but the big dilemma it provides for me is I don’t have a theme to dress for.

If the party has become another plain ‘circuit’ event, what do we girls wear? I know you guys have the jeans and shirts off combo to fall back on... the leather tribe have their erotic carnal coating... twinks slide into tiny lycra and sneakers... the asymmetrical haired young lesbians have their ruby-rose-esque leggings/singlets/vest combo...

So, do I continue the History of the World story or just come all gay’ed up?

Summer is all about falling in love, fun with your friends and parties. One thing you have to do is get your iPod in order so you have the perfect soundtrack.  So I started thinking, what are my favorite 12 tracks for this summer?

1.       Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream (Treasure Fingers Remix)
These guys must be getting a trophy cabinet for Christmas.

2.       Jessica Mauboy - Been Waiting (Champion Lovers Remix) -
Don’t cha love falling in love. We really should be together forever!

3.       Chris B ft. Angie Brown - Heaven With You
The legendary Angie Brown is takes DJ Chris B to a hands in the air moment with some great retro house keyboard samples.

4.       Something in the Air (featuring Katrina) [The Remixes]  - Taylor Squared
Nothing says summer more than Sydney DJ Alex Taylor’s tan. Since this tune debuted at Sleaze I have been counting its beats.

5.       Shelley Harland  - Wonder [Paul Mac Remix]
Have you ever had a summer fling that has left us wondering? Paul Mac ups the tempo on chanteuse Shelley’s dreamy track.

6.       Damien Mancell  - Be With You Tonight
OK. So we love Damien ‘cause he is part of our family. No better way than celebrate his amazing year than with another spin of his killer track.

7.       Britney Spears - Breathe on Me (Jacques Lu Cont's Thin White Duke Mix)
The Queen B brought this tune back with her circus and it is definitely my favorite sexy background music.

8.       Beyonce - Halo (Dave Aude Rmx)
This track spins around in my head and then gets me to start booty shakin'.

9.       Jordin Sparks - Battlefield (Bimbo Jones Remix)
A little R&B always comes in handy for pool parties.

10.   Whitney Houston - Million Dollar Bill (Freemason Club Mix)
Hand up anyone who isn’t going to see Whitney?

11.   Bassmonkeys Ft. Abigail Bailey - In The Moment (Club Mix)
Housemistress Abigail Bailey’s vocals take you to divine places.

12.   Lady GaGa - Bad Romance
Love her, hate her. She makes your shake your arse.

What songs are going to fill your head this summer holidays?

Is outing OK if your big sister is the dance floor patron saint of us gays? When the words “Turning a girl’s song into a boy’s song... if we are to believe everything we have read in the paper, you didn’t need to change the reference in it” fell from her lips, was it a case of bad taste or just the normal conversation starter of a fag-hag?

The furore over her ‘controversial’ remarks on The X Factor is an interesting study on how the ‘straight’ media commentators like to gasp political correctness when confronted by a statement about someone’s queer sexuality. Singer Danyl Johnson had already expressed his sexual preference in the press long before he X Factored the Dreamgirls hit “And I Am Telling You,” flipping up the lyric “You’re the best man…” into “You’re the best girl…”

In a week when Obama announced he wants to scrap the discriminatory “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on homosexuality in the US military, the fact Dannii’s flicky haired handbag comment should draw such global media attention is indeed an indicator of how celebrity comment has consumed the political commentary air space. Minogue’s TV outing-gate versus Obama’s great military march forward was won 2 to 1 in media coverage levels in Dannii’s favour.

So much more offensive was the other judge’s comments that contestant Danyl was “not likeable” and “too cocky”. So don’t sweat it Dannii. Straight people ask us gays more un-PC questions about our sexuality every day.

The last thing the Guide to Gay Lesparazzi Team was expecting at Stonewall Sydney for the International Drag Day festivities was to be totally molested by an over excited baby drag queen.

But let’s step back in time a few hours and give some props to the girls who worked the room…

The cutest little ladyboys were there, you know who I mean Little Miss Babycakes* and her consort Pageant Princess of the Sea. I was able to pose you like I do my Barbie collection.

Then there was our little Lady Blue. You sure channeled Katrina Darrell A.K.A. “Bikini Girl” from the last season of American Idol. There wasn’t a second when you weren’t giving great face. Our other blue beauty for the night was a sliver clad Winter Ice Queen with the tightest buns and the best blue tresses since Ms Marge Simpson, the infamous globe trotting "Millennia".

Diva awarded luminary Colleen Windsor sashayed around the lounge like a clucking mum. The number of drag careers she has watched rise and fall is greater than the pill count in a bottle of Xanax.

We only had one amateur performer show us her stuff on the night. After a couple of false starts we eventually got a confident performance on the foot and a half squared stage, and then we were treated to one of Carlotta’s show cast giving us a twirl, a pout and a good look at her lovely gams.

It was so easy to get you ladies into the most delectable positions in front of the mirrors. Our reporter posse spent the night debating just what is the right drag queen to mirror ratio? In the end we decided that the only answer was along the lines of Japanese artists Yayoi Kusama’s infinity mirror room.

Through out the night our hostess, Penny Tration, offered up a fractured history of Sydney Drag with a slightly twisted timeline. I am sure Christy Mcnicol could hear it every time her name was mentioned even though my favorite girlfriend was all the way up at BrisVegas’ Wickham Hotel.

The big news for the night was the launch of The Stonewall’s Drag Queen VIP recovery lounge. It stayed empty all night ‘cause everyone know no self respecting drag queen will ever admit they are “a little over tired” until after their falsies have hit the floor face first.

Anyway back to this over amorous banquette rape scene... Bec, one of our companions for the night, looking slightly butch in a 70’s Greg Brady way, was engulfed by a legs akimbo queen in a Class A Lycra hooker ensemble. I was laughing at her predicament until a slinky tongue attack down my singlet. Drag Rape!

I haven’t had such a fun drag night since I denied Simone Troy access to the Diva Awards at the ANA Hotel.

So check out the photo gallery for your beauty shots, because you know you’ve got to work it bitch.

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