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The last thing the Guide to Gay Lesparazzi Team was expecting at Stonewall Sydney for the International Drag Day festivities was to be totally molested by an over excited baby drag queen.

But let’s step back in time a few hours and give some props to the girls who worked the room…

The cutest little ladyboys were there, you know who I mean Little Miss Babycakes* and her consort Pageant Princess of the Sea. I was able to pose you like I do my Barbie collection.

Then there was our little Lady Blue. You sure channeled Katrina Darrell A.K.A. “Bikini Girl” from the last season of American Idol. There wasn’t a second when you weren’t giving great face. Our other blue beauty for the night was a sliver clad Winter Ice Queen with the tightest buns and the best blue tresses since Ms Marge Simpson, the infamous globe trotting "Millennia".

Diva awarded luminary Colleen Windsor sashayed around the lounge like a clucking mum. The number of drag careers she has watched rise and fall is greater than the pill count in a bottle of Xanax.

We only had one amateur performer show us her stuff on the night. After a couple of false starts we eventually got a confident performance on the foot and a half squared stage, and then we were treated to one of Carlotta’s show cast giving us a twirl, a pout and a good look at her lovely gams.

It was so easy to get you ladies into the most delectable positions in front of the mirrors. Our reporter posse spent the night debating just what is the right drag queen to mirror ratio? In the end we decided that the only answer was along the lines of Japanese artists Yayoi Kusama’s infinity mirror room.

Through out the night our hostess, Penny Tration, offered up a fractured history of Sydney Drag with a slightly twisted timeline. I am sure Christy Mcnicol could hear it every time her name was mentioned even though my favorite girlfriend was all the way up at BrisVegas’ Wickham Hotel.

The big news for the night was the launch of The Stonewall’s Drag Queen VIP recovery lounge. It stayed empty all night ‘cause everyone know no self respecting drag queen will ever admit they are “a little over tired” until after their falsies have hit the floor face first.

Anyway back to this over amorous banquette rape scene... Bec, one of our companions for the night, looking slightly butch in a 70’s Greg Brady way, was engulfed by a legs akimbo queen in a Class A Lycra hooker ensemble. I was laughing at her predicament until a slinky tongue attack down my singlet. Drag Rape!

I haven’t had such a fun drag night since I denied Simone Troy access to the Diva Awards at the ANA Hotel.

So check out the photo gallery for your beauty shots, because you know you’ve got to work it bitch.

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